This was the somewhat ableist question asked by someone in an autism group today.
I’m going to start out by explaining that this question is usually used as a trap question by ableist people. They either think; that ‘real’ autistic people will say yes – because they don’t want to be disabled (because they only believe autism is a bad thing)…. Or they think ‘high functioning’ autistics are the ONLY ones who will say no – because they think “HF autistics” aren’t “real” autistics. This is what I mean by it being an ableist question – it’s a question asked by ableists who do not understand WHAT autism is – or what it is to be autistic.
They are also often asking the question because they assume that all high needs autistics would take the pill. This is a complete fallacy. It’s an ableists view because they are assuming things based on their experience of living with an autistic person – not of being an autistic person. And this is the problem -it’s not their choice.
The resounding response to this question was NO! A couple ableists said – they would give it to their child – but it’s not their choice… it’s the choice of the autistic person. In this utter f%#*ed up world – we have people deciding things for us. It’s disgusting! People will say it’s up to the parent – as they are the parent…. But that doesn’t make them a good parent. There are parents all over the world who are torturing and abusing the f&%* out of their children in order to do exactly that.
There are f#%^*ed up people everywhere – but parents who give their kids bleach enemas, stem cell treatments, chelation and put them in hyperbaric chambers are a specific type of f%&^ed up! No, I won’t apologise – those people should be/ and do belong in jail. Or – they deserve to have the same thing done to them – endlessly – to see how horrific and f&$^*ed up it truly is.
The people saying NO! “No way in hell would I take a pill to rid myself of autism” are not “HIGH FUNCTIONING!” by the way! Many are like me – not functioning! Many were/are non-speakers like me, many have major debilitating co-occurring disabilities (like me, or worse than me), and many have high needs autistic children (like me)… and still wouldn’t take that pill…. Except like one commenter said: “We’d take it recreationally” (so funny!!!!).
The reasons we wouldn’t take it:
· Because it wouldn’t change a bloody thing.
It wouldn’t give me back my hideous childhood, wouldn’t change the bullying I experienced, wouldn’t change the school results, wouldn’t change the jobs I was fired from or didn’t get in the first place it wouldn’t change my current job situation (because it wouldn’t change my job history), it wouldn’t change my current cPTSD, trauma, depression or burnout etc (well – it might help alleviate the burnout a little – but it wouldn’t suddenly go away).
· Because it wouldn’t suddenly remove my cooccurring disabilities.
It wouldn’t make a non-speaking person able to speak (because being non-speaking is not caused by autism – it’s caused by apraxia, dyspraxia, motor disinhibition, or GLP etc), it would not cure incontinence (because incontinence is caused by things like OCD, coeliac, IBS, tethered spine or twisted bowel, diverticulitis, and many other things – but not autism), it would not take away my fibromyalgia (trauma from being autistic /hypermobile / EDS etc may have been the underlying cause of it – but taking away autism wont take away fibro), POTS would still be there, epilepsy – still there, ARFID – still there, Intellectual disability – still there, diabetes – still there, low mobility – still there, SPD – still there, everything that causes me or other autistics struggles – would still be there…. Because those things are NOT autism!
As I’ve said a gazillion times – autism is not those cooccurring disabilities! Autism is your underlying neurotype that makes up your personality, the way you think, feel and communicate – but it is NOT your cooccurring disabilities. You may experience your cooccurring disabilities as ‘more severe’ because of the way the autism makes you experience them – but taking away autism does not cure you of your inability to speak, or affect your ability to use a toilet or eat a varied meal. Autism may make you unable in other ways – like replaying negative thoughts or feelings – which can in itself be debilitating, and it can do other things like make you blunt/direct or not liked by NT’s/society in general. You can experience all those disabilities while being autistic – which escalates the experience of those things – but taking away autism, doesn’t take away those other things – drum it into your head….. If you take away the autism (the neurotype) you will still most likely be disabled – because autism tends to come with other disabilities. Autism is most certainly a disability! But the way it affects us, can often depend on how many other disabilities we also have, or don’t have.
We are disabled by society for our way of playing, doing things, thinking about things, experiencing things, interpreting things, learning things, communicating etc. And those things are all discriminated against in our society – which causes us more disability – because we have to mask those things, or we can’t mask those things – which leads to more disabilities (things like depression, anger, cPTSD, nervous system disorders, chronic illness, GI issues, and many more). Being autistic often leads to more disabilities because of the differences of our brain/body/ nervous system set up and development.
· Society still discriminates against those other disabilities as well. So, removing autism won’t remove the discrimination either. Just look at parents who discriminate against autism – who believe autism causes their kid to be violent, or self-harm – it doesn’t! not being listened to or supported properly makes them violent or turn to self-harming (or sometimes SPD can cause someone to seek out extreme proprioception – that can look like self-harm, or end in self-harm)
· Taking away your neurotype – takes away everything that makes you you!
Autism is the neurotype – so if you took it away – you would be a completely different person.
There’s an episode (of the later editions) of the TV show E.R, where Carrie (a disabled doctor) who uses a cane for mobility. She is given the option of having a new type of surgery to fix her issue, so she would no longer need the cane. But she had lived with this mobility issue her entire life. She knew no other way of living or being. She even says at one point that she feels it’s part of her identity – it’s certainly part of the characters identity and why she does or thinks in certain ways. She doesn’t want the surgery because she’s scared, but also apprehensive of being a totally different person.
This is what I want to address. Having a physical ailment or condition for life – will affect how you see and interact with the world. It will affect how you were raised and how you access the community and support yourself. But it does not affect your brain (as such)… yes it will cause the development of thoughts and experiences to be one of a disabled person – but it doesn’t affect your thinking and being in the same way that your neurotype does…. Like autism does.
Being autistic is a cultural thing, not just the way our brains and bodies develop, learn and communicate etc – it’s our entire being. So while Carrie could have a surgery – that fixed her physical disability, she remembered the experience of being disabled, and was still the same person internally – even if she walked differently (outward/visually). If you cured an autistic person of their autism (which isn’t possible BTW, nor do we want it to be possible) – the person would be different in every single way.
Parents who want to cure the autism but not change the child are ignorant and ableist….. you can’t! If you cure the autism – you may as well have killed that child and gotten a new one (don’t do this obviously) but that’s what you are in fact saying that you want to do – you are saying you hate your child the way they are! To cure the autism is to have a totally different person both internally and externally.
To assume that your child would want to take a cure for autism – assumes that your child hates themselves. Not the cooccurring disabilities that cause them struggles, pain and discrimination etc – but actually hates who they are as a person. I don’t know about you – but I don’t assume my kids hate themselves. In fact – I don’t assume anything about them – I ask them!
Nothing for us, without us! We have resoundingly said – no! we don’t want a cure for autism – we want acceptance and understanding….. but …. We might want a cure for some of our cooccurring disabilities. I know I’d be better without all the pain and fatigue from fibro, or the cPTSD I have from the trauma of society not accepting me or my autism. I could’ve done with being able to speak as a child, or not having ARFID…. But my neurotype – nope – I love the way my brain thinks outside the box and how quick it is… but I hate the negative thought loops. Overall – no – being autistic is disabling, but I don’t want to be neurotypical either (whatever the hell that means)…. As one commenter said: “If being ‘typical’ means acting like sheep, having a broken moral compass, not thinking outside the box, or following blindly – hell NO! No I don’t want a cure pill – and we don’t need more sheep”. Apt I think.