TW: for autistics – this may make you suicidal… step away… I’m just trying to get teachers to realise our reality with this one – because some people keep telling me that my tone is bad or that I need to be more gentle… which is only making it worse… the world is literally screaming for our deaths from the rafters – and you have a problem with my tone? Please take your head out of the sand and look around – see it from our POV. Our tone is increasing because we aren’t seen or heard over the ableists, and the situation just keeps getting worse.
Let me set the record straight… this has absolutely nothing to do with the parents!!!
Why don’t we stop blaming parents for everything and step back for a second and see the world through the eyes of the children…. And see what kids are looking forward to in their futures to realise why they MIGHT be refusing to do your lessons.
1. Even if they do the lessons, get into uni, do all the work – they will be in debt for student loans and possibly never pay it back, and be in a job they possibly hate forever
2. If they want to be a farmer or tradie, they only need to learn certain things – not all the bs subjects that schools teach, so they literally see no point in doing the work
3. If they live in America they face extra issues, like:
· Being shot by a classmate or rando, or ICE so why bother
· Being taken by ICE at any moment – no matter who they are – so why bother
· If they are disabled, female, LGBTQ+ BIPOC /BAME – they have no future because dump truck is taking it away to give it to incompetent white males – so why bother
4. If you live in USA, UK or Australia:
· The direct discrimination against autistic people from all three of these countries recently, have made doing anything at all as an autistic person – almost criminal. The removal of SEND in the UK, the RFK Jr bs has caused all sorts of hatred of hatred towards us and vaccines etc – which has spilled out to the rest of the world. The direct discrimination of the Labor, Liberals and One Nation of the autistic community especially AND of other disabilities has made us close to being seen as bad as the plague. – so why bother.
5. Systemic issues and other reasons:
· If they don’t understand you, and they ask a question – they get punished for back talking or talking out of turn – so why bother
· If they don’t understand you and ask you to explain – you say “I’ve already repeated it 50 times” – so why bother
· If they don’t understand you and you tell them they have to take it home to do, or stay in at recess and do it – they still don’t know how to do it - so why bother
· They do the work, and they still end up with a job that makes you survive on tips and doesn’t give you a living wage – so why bother
· Places/governments like the UK and Australia are actively discriminating against autistic and otherwise disabled students, and taking away their rights and the ability to learn – so why bother. (eg: SEND in UK – Thriving kids in Australia)
· Teachers are saying things like “it’s the parents fault”, “you just have to do it”, “it’s your fault”, “I’m going to punish you for this and reward you for this other thing that means nothing to me and actively harms me” – so why bother
· Teachers aren’t taught about how I learn or how to help me – so why bother
· I’ll be forced into a menial job anyway – because of rampant discrimination – so why bother
· Even if I get a degree – I’ll still be serving coffee in a café because a degree doesn’t mean shit anymore – so why bother
· Even if they study hard – the poor will keep getting poorer and the rich richer because taxing and wages is not fair for anyone anymore – so why bother
· Even if I get a degree in something that is in a shortage (or legally required to have a degree because its niche and highly regarded) – after 25 years of experience, I’ll still be paid the same as a graduate – because my pay hasn’t increased with CPI, and because my job is in a field where we don’t have TikTok’ers/FB’ers and youtubers bitching enough to be heard -so why bother (are you even aware of how underpaid/ undervalued some professions are?)
How is any of this shit the parents’ fault?!!!
We can’t change society – this is a societal problem. Stop blaming parents for children being smart enough to see the shit before their eyes. If you can’t ‘make them’ how do you think parents will. Kids see the world for what it is – a stinky f&%$ing shit hole that is taking us all down with it.
I saw a post today of teachers being upset about comments from (let’s face it – angry ignorant people) about teachers striking for better pay and conditions….. I hope those ‘conditions’ also include the conditions for the children – not just yourselves…. Because they see a future of nothingness (like I do). How will they see a future worth working/living for if all the adults in their lives (eg: parent’s and teachers etc) are all saying the same thing – “this job isn’t worth it”, “the world is screwed”, “I hate my job”, “there’s nothing to go to even if I do leave this job”, etc times infinity….. it never ends.
Stop seeing “not doing the work” as a choice – it’s not choice – it’s depression (not always – but in some children’s eyes/ experiences it definitely is). It’s seeing their futures for what they are – it’s seeing society for what it is... it’s seeing school for what it is – a complete and utter waste of some children’s time.
School is out of date and is not moving with the times. Children see billionaires and TikTok’ers making money for doing the most ridiculous unskilled crap. They see no point. School needs to change, society needs to change. The world has changed and become more and more unfair for every new generation (we are returning to 1930’s Germany), don’t sit there judging families and children. Take a look at society – really truly look at it – saying this crap on FB and Youtube/ Instagram etc is part of the problem – it isn’t helping.
Recognise your extreme privilege the next time you tell a student “if you don’t do the work, you won’t get a good job or career” because that’s often their reality with or without school. I have multiple degrees and I’m unemployed, I was even an honour student (on the ‘Dean’s List etc) – and look where it got me – discriminated against and poor, and thanks to chronic illness – possibly never able to work again. You have a job, and it’s not minimum wage either – see your privilege for what it is. Some of those parents you bitch about are working 3 jobs to make what you make and also graduated with a degree, like you did – stop the nonsense, stop the blame narrative.
Like I said at the start – step outside yourself and see what we as homeschooling, unemployed (possibly discriminated against/minorities) families see – that kids aren’t “choosing” to not do the work – they have a barrier to doing the work. Either from society as a whole, from schools who haven’t progressed with the times, from discrimination, or from teachers who don’t understand how to teach diverse learners. Sometimes – yes- it is a parent’s fault if the parent is abusive or causing the child problems etc, but that is a very small percentage indeed – don’t stereotype. You don’t like it when the public stereotypes you and tells you that you get 12 weeks holiday a year so you shouldn’t complain – so don’t do it to others.
When homeschooling, parents also face their kids ‘not doing the work’. But once they learn about trauma, school trauma, and that learning has nothing to do with how schools teach – they stop what they are doing. They deschool themselves and learn that the child isn’t ‘choosing’ to not do the work. That they have a barrier to doing the work.
Those barriers can be anything, like:
· Systemic racism, sexism, ageism, ableism etc etc etc
· Not understanding the work
· A learning disability (eg: dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia etc)
· An intellectual disability
· Severe depression or mental health issue
· Teacher delivery
· Teacher training
· The actual lesson isn’t interesting or made relevant (if it’s not relevant they won’t remember no matter what you do)
· Is the child dysregulated, hungry, thirsty, sad, mad, sick etc etc etc – you can’t learn if you aren’t feeling good
· Etc etc etc
If you remove the barrier – the child becomes able again – and they willingly do the work.
My child decided that an official in person STEM class wasn’t for him because they didn’t work with his brain (AuDHD), and that the class was boring because he knew it all. I agreed with him – he did know it all, it was boring and the class wasn’t meeting his needs. So he does other stuff while my other kid does the class (because the other kid likes the class). My AuDHD kid was learning about science things like: ‘what would happen on each different planet if you tried to light a match’, or ‘what happens when you combine x with y’, or ‘why is it colder on earth the higher you go – and yet you are getting closer to the sun – not further away’. These are concepts that an 8 year old doesn’t learn at school. But he was CHOOSING to do it on his home – by himself with no push or want from me. Completely and totally intrinsically motivated and driven. My kids don’t need school (the way schools teach) to learn – in fact it actively prevents their learning.
Think about this next time a child says “no!” to doing a lesson. Think: what is the barrier here? Is it the lesson, the child’s needs, my instruction or something else.