I’m sick to death of ignorant teachers saying that parents who allow their children to use screens all the time are bad parents. You need to read the research on screens for autistic or ADHD people and realise your own privilege, bigotry and ignorance.
If you’ve ever done any of the following -you need to read this blog:
· Bitched about the amount of time kids spend on screens
· Thought a parent is lazy or bad for allowing the child to use a screen
· Been pissed off at a family for giving their child a screen in a restaurant
· Taken a screen away from a child
· Told a child to ‘go outside and play’ instead of being on a screen
· Limited ‘screen time’ for any amount of time or reason at all
· Thought screens are the reason for bad behaviours
· You think screens cause bad behaviour
· Thought screens are the reasons that children can’t or don’t do x or y
· Thought that screens are a growing problem in society
· You think screens cause sleep problems
· Thought we need to go back to basics in schools and get rid of the screens
· Thought that screens are addictive
All of these thoughts or ideas are riddled with bigotry and ignorance. Not on fact, and not on science.
Let’s just get the last one out of the way, because I know that’s the most glaring one for some people. Screens aren’t addictive – they are inanimate objects. It’s what kids do on the screens that CAN be addictive. But even that has nuance and context missing. You can’t say that a child who spends 8 hours a day on a screen is addicted. It’s just what life has become. They may spend 6 hours at school on a screen, then one hour of homework on a screen, and then another hour talking to family or friends, sending emails, playing a game, researching something, watching TV, or a movie with the family (remember TV are screens too). That’s not addiction in any way shape or form. That’s just simply living your life the way life is lived these days.
I’ve blogged about this previously (so check out my other info on this). But – the requirements for screen addiction is actually incredible discriminatory against autistic or some other ND people. I’ve spent time debunking this previously -in my book: Autism the Big Book Set of Help Book 3 ABA and alternatives: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0DB6268PP from page 156 “screen time and gaming addiction”. That’s all I’ll say about that for now – if you want to know more – you can read my other work (the books are also available for free in libraries, you just need to ask your local librarian to stock them).
· Restaurant use:
The rest of the dot points above are just your bigotry. Sorry, not sorry. But I have to give my child a screen in a restaurant – or we can’t go to a restaurant at all. We’ve tried other things – none have worked. And no – they are not disturbing others – because we have their headphones or earbuds with us. It’s none of your goddamn business what another family has to do in order to access the community or spend one hour out of the house.
And No!!! crayons and a colouring in book is not appropriate for them – one has dysgraphia and can’t use those tools – and both are too old for that anyway. And neither like to join in with the adult conversations around them, they find them overwhelming and only like to join in sporadically. They can hear us (with their headphones on), but they only join in when they feel they can. No! They are not being rude! They are doing what they can to be involved and included.
· Using screens when our and about:
Some children use them as communication devices – if they are using them at a ball game or anywhere else – again – none of your damn business – they may need them to ‘talk’ to other people, or to remain regulated, or any other reasons – not your business. And NOT your decision on what works for them and what doesn’t.
· Limiting screens:
When you limit something – you create an obsession and need for the thing you limit (again – I talk about this in my book 3, so I won’t harp). When kids are given free space to choose what and when they do things – while also being taught about addiction, and the healthy use of things, and respected to know their own needs: the child will choose to do other things. Once I removed limits (modelled and taught what is healthy) – my kids chose to go play and do other things.
· Go play outside:
Telling a kid to go out and play is ableist. Some kids find ‘outside’ and outside activities overwhelming or problematic. My kids were ostracised and bullied by other children – so they felt traumatised for a while about those spaces. They couldn’t go out due to school trauma and other issues.
Autistic and ADHD children sometimes also need body doubles – a trusted loved adult to go with them and play with them (beside them) or do something with them while outside. DO something that is engaging and has a purpose. I know that was my biggest issue when I was kid – There was no purpose given, and I couldn’t come up with one – so I hit a brick wall and COULDN’T. It wasn’t wouldn’t – it was couldn’t! I couldn’t see the point in playing on equipment, riding a bike or drawing on concrete with chalk – it all held no point to me. But not just ‘no – point’ I found them all incredibly painful to my brain.
That’s why screens are great for us in some ways. Because it body doubles us. The activities we do on them, give us that co-regulation, and teach us a back and forth, and help us to keep dopamine up and to figure out the next step or thing to do. I was always bored out of my brain when I was a child (because of the ADHD dopamine issue – severe understimulation). But also because I was never given anything that held my attention. I hated reading and there was nothing ‘to do’ outside. Other then just sit there and stare into space and hear my repetitive thought loops that dragged me into depression. Going outside (to me) – meant wanting to scratch my own eyes out and dig into to holes to stop my brain from going on and on and round and round.
Severe understimulation is a big thing for kids and adults alike, but for kids, unless they’ve learnt what they can do outside – how will they know? Some kids are able to come up with things for themselves, others can’t. I was one of the ‘can’t’ kids, and if I did – it had a specific purpose: I did it and returned back inside as quick as I could (I still do). My Nanna was the same – she had no interest in ‘outside’ unless there was a specific purpose.
My mother on the other hand, always outside, watering plants, gardening, playing with pets, sweeping the concrete- she always hated being inside. Some people are just opposites, and that’s ok. But you need to accept them the way they are. I think my mums insane – but I accept those things about her and leave her be – you need to do the same for others too. Your way of living isn’t for everyone. Not everyone likes, wants or needs to go outside.
· Screens causing sleep issues
For some autistic and ADHD people, we actually can’t sleep without them – they allow us the escapism from our own brains – (to shut off our brains) long enough for us to get to sleep. Without screens we have massive sleep disorders and insomnia issues. Not all people are neuronormative and need a break between screens and bed – some of us are actually harmed/ hindered by that break.
· Screens cause bad behaviour
No! Just no. Screens don’t cause bad behaviour… how you teach them how to use them, and your limiting screen use causes bad behaviour. When you give any tool to a child – you teach them to use them properly and safely. If you are seeing bad behaviour around screens – there’s another reason – either they haven’t been taught to use them properly – you are trying to control their use, or they are overwhelmed, or you need to figure out the reason behind the behaviour.
One possible answer: When we have after school restraint collapse – we hide in computers and screens to release that anger. Sometimes we choose a game that makes us angry so that we can release that anger. Have you ever been to a psychologist? When a child is playing with something and becomes angry and hits a doll or the wall etc, the psych explains this as a child processing their anger through play. That’s what children do with screens and violent games sometimes.
Second answer: They were already triggered by something going on in their lives – and the game sent them over the edge. They will need to be taught and modelled other tools and strategies to release that anger and process those issues and deal with them.
Third: They are understimulated and need stimulation. Some children love arguing – it’s a way to gain that stimulation they crave. Most adults refuse to have this type of interaction with children – so where do they seek it out – the only place they can – online in a game or with friends/ bullies etc. I even knew one of these ND people that became a lawyer because he needs that arguing to regulate himself. Not everyone regulates themselves in the same way… get used to it.
· Learning through screens:
Without screens my kids were stuck being non-speakers. They needed screens to learn mouth words (I’ve talked about this a lot, even in podcasts- please go look at my “book 5 Schools and Onward” and my blogs on teaching disabled learners to read.
Without screens my dyslexic, ADHD child with APD and Irlens would not have learnt to read. The way the school taught reading (with phonics) was hindering his learning, not helping. Not everyone learns language or how to read the same way.
Most adults don’t use pens and paper anymore. Writing is a skill that is needed, but it’s increasingly becoming redundant. Some children have disabilities like dysgraphia, EDS and motor disinhibition that make screens and other adaptable tools the only options for them. Not everyone can go ‘back to basics’ without that severely harming them. Understanding and balance is needed.
· Screens are good for autistics
Below I’ve added a bunch of resources for you to explore in your own time. They are all trying to teach neurotypicals that the BS you’ve been taught about screens simply does not apply to autistic people.
One of these BS things is that screens are bad. For autistic people – the research actually shows that screen use actually decreases depression, increases social participation, and increases life skills etc – but yes – for neurotypicals – it does sometimes does the opposite. Please at least read one or two of the research below and undo your ignorance and bias towards screens.
Parents who allow unlimited screen access aren’t lazy or bad parents… they are usually like me – they’ve actually done the research and talked to their kids, and taught them about healthy use, options, understanding AI and fake things, cyber bullying, scams and viruses, and staying safe online.
Lazy adulting is blaming things you know nothing about… or stigmatising things that you have not done the research on- but believe the hype / rumours about them instead.
That’s bad teaching and bad parenting – believing that screens harm because it’s something you heard someone on FB or tik tok say. Even the research says it’s not harmful – what is harmful is some of the things they do on them…. But if you learn what the child is doing on them, do it with them and model and teach good use and safety online – it’s not harmful at all. What harmful is ignorance and repeating BS.
Screen use research:
Rose Weldon (14 February 2023) Healio: “Video games not harmful to kids’ cognitive abilities, exploratory study finds” www.healio.com/news/primary-care/20230214/video-games-not-harmful-to-kids-cognitive-abilities-exploratory-study-finds
Autability (7 July 2021) Disabled Living: “Screen time and autism: When are screens necessary” www.disabledliving.co.uk/blog/screens-and-autism-when-are-screens-necessary/
Amy Orben & Andrew K. Przybylski (14 January 2019), Nature Human Behaviour: “The Association between adolescent wellbeing and digital technology use” www.nature.com/articles/s41562-018-0506-1
Rich Haridy (21 September 2021), New Atlas: “Large study finds potential benefits of digital screen time for children” www.newatlas.com/health-wellbeing/digital-screen-time-children-positive-self-report-problem/
Kenneth Goldsmith (26 August 2016) Quartz: “Why you should give your kids unlimited screen time” www.qz.com/767100/why-you-should-give-your-kids-unlimited-screen-time/
Lisa Neilsen (20 November 2018) Tech & Learning: “Why you shouldn’t limit screen time” www.techlearning.com/features/why-you-shouldnt-limit-screen-time
Chris Bergman (16 July 2015) The New York Times: “Don’t Limit Your Teen’s Screen Time” www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2015/07/16/is-internet-addiction-a-health-threat-for-teenagers/dont-limit-your-teens-screen-time
Dr Naomi Fisher (2 November 2022) Internet Culture: “How to talk to kids about video games” www.blog.mozilla.org/en/internet-culture/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-video-games/
The following research actually proves that nd brains respond differently to screens than NT brains….that in NT people – screens increase depression and anxiety – but in autistic people – it has the opposite effect. Most studies about screen are done on NT children – this research proves that you should never apply that research to ND brains.
Michelle Menezes, Jim Soland, Micah Mazurek (September 2023) Science Direct: "Screen time and diagnoses of anxiety and depression in autistic vs neurotypical youth” Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders (Vol 107, 102222)
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1750946723001228