Some teachers seem to be under the impression that when homework isn’t done or work in class isn’t completed – it’s because of bad behaviour, or because of bad parenting. They seem to think that the child isn’t doing it because they ‘don’t want to’. Please stop this s&%#
It’s usually because there’s a barrier in place.
Yes, it could be bad parenting – permissive parenting where the child is not acknowledged or cared for in any way – or they are abused… in which case – that’s still a barrier that needs support – not blame. Blame doesn’t help the child.
I’m sick of the blame game. All I’m seeing is blame from every direction – not just from teachers.
We don’t want you to give the child ‘grace’ or a free pass… you are again attributing blame when you say/ think this – whether you are a parent or a teacher. When teachers say “you’re not helping them by pretending everything’s fine” goes both ways. I recently saw this on an open teacher page. They were blaming parents for not forcing their kids to do and hand in work. But do those parents even know what’s going on, and has the teacher done the work to find out why? Has the teacher found out the barrier to that work being done?
Stop blaming if you haven’t done the work of both- notifying the parent AND finding out why…. You can’t just do one and expect the parent to do the rest. The parent is not likely to be a teacher, and not know the reason why, or they might know the reason why, but you have ignored the parent or the child when they’ve tried to tell you.
There’s always a reason why work isn’t done. Here’s a checklist you can use to find out the why – and STOP blaming each other, and actually work together to help the child:
· Is the child being abused at school or home, or at extra curricula activities? Or do they have trouble completing work outside of school hours –
Don’t assume it’s the home or the school, or extra curricula – and don’t report people without finding out first – ask the damn child! Ask the damn parent. Ask the damn school. Parents are often already using multiple specialists if they know their child is disabled – ask them!!! I’m so damn sick of reading about parents who have been dobbed into (reported to) CPS, because the school didn’t bother reading the IEP or asking either the child or the parent – stop wasting everyone’s time and instead….communicate.
BTW: in most of the cases I’ve seen– the school can be sued for discrimination by the family. I strongly suggest if you are a teacher, check for disabilities before reporting to CPS. In the majority of cases I’ve helped – the family has been dobbed into CPS because the child has a medical condition, but the school nurse or teacher hasn’t read the IEP, or listened to the family… this constitutes direct discrimination- as medical conditions are covered by discrimination law, and calling CPS puts “undue hardship on the carer” which is also covered by discrimination law – it counts as harassment.
· Does the child understand the work, what have you done to check this?
Have you asked the parent to have the child assessed by a psych or educational professional who tests for disabilities or other learning issues? Or does the school have someone employed who could conduct this?
· Does the child have access to psychological services, so they can talk about their issues and get help?
Does the child have a disability and what it that disability (check for things like):
· Dysgraphia
· Dysphagia
· Aphantasia
· APD
· RSD
· Dyslexia
· Hyperlexia
· SPD
· Apraxia
· Dyspraxia
· Motor Disinhibition
· EDS
· Medical conditions that affect concentration or fatigue
· Sleep disorders (they are extremely common in ND people)
· ADHD
· Irlens Syndrome
· Intellectual Disability
· Double empathy problem (yes this is a disability, if we can’t understand you, we can’t learn from you)
· Masking (yes masking is a disability, we can’t learn if we are trying to mask at the same time)
Check out my book: Autism the Big Book Set of Help Book 2 Co-occurring Disabilities for more information