By Heather L.E. McKay
Spoiler Alert: if you haven’t watched the movies, I might give the story away.
My sister and I have always have a fondness for Pixar movies, even before I had my own kids. When Disney bought Pixar I feared for the worst to come. Disney had a reputation for being a bit drama oriented with little to know humour, but Pixar really hit the spot. But I worried for nothing.
Pixar has influenced the current way cartoons and animated pictures are written, designed and performed. These films now have to meet the needs of parents who are forced to take their children to cinemas and theatres to watch them… over and over again. And I’m happy to say – they definitely meet my needs. With movies like Hotel Transylvania, Despicable Me, Encanto, Turbo, Inside Out and Kung Fu Panda that truly speak directly to people of all ages and differences.
The wonderful differences I talk about (that are featured in these films) are mainly “neuro” differences, but also minorities and cultural differences or the LGBTQ+ community; it’s amazing to watch, and I often wait excitedly for the next movie to be released. There’s still a long way to go. But we’ll get there if the Trump administration is taken out – sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, their influence has even corrupted Hollywood – with Musk wanting to start a fascist production company with Gibson and Wahlberg. They’ve already influenced some movies like Toy Story that had to cut certain scenes because of people’s ridiculous homophobia.
But – I hope we’ll get back on track. … eventually., but hopefully very soon – because I’m sick of it already.
Anyway. Why do I especially love movies like Kung Fu Panda? Not just because Jack Black has really come into his element in the past 2 decades (because he really has), and not just because the drawings are adorable, and I love pandas – but because it spoke directly to my ND heart, throughout the first and third movies. The second was good, but in my opinion it missed something special that the other two had in spades.
There’s a wonderful scene with Shifu (the Red Panda) and Oogway (the Master Galapagos Tortoise); where Oogway is trying to explain why Jack Black’s character (the Panda) will be great at Kung Fu – that he may not be great now, but everyone has untapped potential. The two are standing under a cherry blossom tree and the Tortoise says something along the lines of “You may want (the tree) to be a peach or an apple, but it’s not. Instead – you must work with what you have”. You need to nurture and love the tree for what it is, and help it develop into the tree that it needs to be and should be. You shouldn’t try to change it – just to suit your wants and needs – that would destroy the tree.
And that’s the line, the way it was worded was perfect – it spoke directly to ND people because it’s what NT people try to do to us all the time. ABA and PBS (any behavioural ‘intervention’) seek to change the cherry into an apple or a pear without respect for what a cherry is and can do in this world. Eg: they use conversion therapy to turn an autistic person into being a fake NT person – into someone who is pretending to look and act like a neurotypical – but will never be.
This thinking isn’t new -it’s been around ever since the 1940’s and the 2nd World War when countries were trying to force conformity and oppressing everyone, just like they are repeating now. And needless to say – it’s abusive and wrong.
You see the Panda’s development, as a Kung Fu master, throughout all four movies (so far); but it’s not really Kung Fu that’s improved – it’s him. It’s his understanding and acceptance of himself that leads him to be the best he can be.
When Master Shifu stops trying to teach Po (the Panda) how to be something he’s not – Po makes amazing progress. When Shifu stops teaching and using behavioural modification tools in the second and third movies, Po makes even bigger advancements and finally comes into himself and starts to trust himself more and more.
Po figures out in the third movie – that he doesn’t need to teach his community how to do Kung Fu – he instead needs to teach them how to develop their own innateness – how to reach into their own natural talents and specialities and bring them to the surface. When Po becomes the teacher – he doesn’t use behaviour modification at all (because it’s toxic/abusive and not needed at all), but also because intrinsic motivation and self-success are always better at developing greatness – in all people, not just in ND people.
Within the autistic community, ‘becoming the best you’ is called unmasking and finally (when you’ve reached mastery of your own self) – it’s called neuroqueering (thanks to Dr Nick Walker who coined the phrase). The Panda movies describe this unmasking process perfectly. In the 4th movie, Po needs to find and train his successor, but he already knows that teaching isn’t about imparting knowledge, berating into submission, or using behavioural methods to find success- it’s about bringing out the individuals existing knowledge about themselves – and then helping them to reach their potential. Basically – letting the student lead the way / or ‘child-led’ learning. By giving them the grace and respect to self-develop. Giving them opportunities to explore and develop themselves. To empower them by trusting them.
Unfortunately, most therapies are not neuroaffirming because they don’t do this. They tend to presume incompetence instead of competence. They assume they have to mimic Ivar Lovaas; who was quoted as saying that autistic people aren’t really human and have nothing to offer – that we a blank canvas /or piece of clay that NT people must mold/make or build up from scratch. It’s truly offensive and horribly wrong. In other words – they believe that the child is brought to them – so the therapist can teach them things. This is what non-affirming therapy looks like.
In NON-affirming therapies, the non-affirming therapist will lead the sessions, and they will assume they need to teach the child how to be NT, how to do things in the NT way, using NT tools and strategies. And they often reward or punish based on whether the child will follow a directive, or if they are ‘able’ or ‘unable’ to do something in an NT way.
If Shifu continued to do that with Po, Po never would’ve become the Master that he did become. I will say that is one part about the first movie I detest. Shifu uses food to motivate Po to learn – which should never be done to anyone – it causes eating disorders and mental health problems, and it’s a behavioural modification technique. I think every time I watch that first movie, I leave the room, or I try to cope with that scene by doing something else or thinking about something else. Or trying to look at it in a different way – that they are perhaps “playing” with the food instead of using it as a manipulation tool or eating disorder abusive tool – but no matter what – that scene is not good – please don’t do that to your child. Yes, find their interest and work with them – but NEVER withhold their special interest or reward/punish using that interest – it’s toxic abuse! I get that the movie was trying to show the audience that Po already had those skills – that Shifu was just trying to give Po the self-confidence and knowledge that he was already a Kung Fu master – that he just needed to trust himself.
The affirming therapist will ask the child what they want to learn and do. They will learn what innate talents the child has, and what interests them. They will create opportunities for the child teach themselves, and they will sit back and watch to see what natural way they hold a pen, or write, or communicate. Like Shifu saw in Po when he caught him trying to eat cookies that were hidden on the top shelf – Po had performed a perfect split – he had done a Kung Fu technique without thinking – because it was inherent him to do so – without any training at all – Shifu finally saw what Oogway knew all along – that Pandas are good at being Pandas – but Po had never been around other Pandas to learn how to be a Panda. Po needed to lean into his innate abilities – not learn how to kick like Mantis or punch like Tigress, he needed to neuroqueer as a panda would.
Neuroaffirming therapists won’t interfere and tell the child they are ‘doing it wrong’ and need to alter what they are doing to do it like an NT child would– and they won’t use ‘hand over hand’ to correct the child. They will instead offer ideas or tools that could support the way they already do things. Eg: if pen holding hurts (because of co-occurring EDS or dysgraphia) they will leave a few different tools out on display and let the child choose what they think might work for them. Or the therapist will parallel play (play beside the child) and model the use of those tools, so the child will be able to identify what they are for and how to use them – and can make an informed/ but non-pressured choice. The therapist should be there to assist the child IF the child wants that, or if the child asks for help – but they should never correct or intervene, or alter what comes naturally. That is what’s called ‘intervention’ and we don’t need or want intervention – we need/want support to become the best ‘master’ of ourselves that we can be. We need/want supporters that know how to bring out the neuroqueering in us, to help us unmask and develop organically, genuinely, inherently and biologically as our true selves.
Other movies have the same mission or underling message. Like Dragonballz teaches the characters in the show how to do martial arts – but the main character is told “You have to make it your own” – that you have to do it your own way – not copy how others do it, and don’t mimic things perfectly as shown, because that won’t make you better at it – it will only make you a shadow or mimic of someone else. To be the best you – you need to figure out what you are good at, and how best to do something to meet your own needs and wants.
Go and watch a kids movie – they have more to teach than just being for entertainment value. They teach morals and helping out friends and family (Sonic), that it’s OK to not be OK (Inside Out 2), to be different (Encanto), to have big emotions (Big Red), to find family in unusual places (Storks), not to trust certain adults (Oliver), - the list goes on and on…. Each has a good message and sometimes bad ones – kids need to learn to differentiate these things on their own, and screens are not the bad guys. We can learn wonderful things in the safety of our own homes, and we can learn bad things too – model to your kids (don’t teach) what is good and bad in the world, who they can trust, where they can get help, and how to identify if that ‘help’ is toxic or neuroaffirming.